Judgment Day

On Saturday, as I came through the South Portland toll booth on the Maine Turnpike, I saw five brightly and identically painted RVs lined up at the far-right booth. I was driving through the automatic lane on the left and caught just enough of the messages painted on each - "The End of the World...., May 21, 2011" to look them up later on Google.

Yes, according to Harold Camping and FamilyRadio.com, Judgment Day is scheduled for May. There's a 70-page brochure (I mean, tract) on the website, full of Bible verses and an impenetrable numerology of holy numbers, to prove it. Four such RV caravans are now travelling the country to spread the news. The New England mission included stops in Portland and Freeport on Saturday and Boston on Sunday.

I imagine the urgency of the message requires working on a Sunday. I imagine the lead driver at the toll booth negotiating a discount for his retinue, or perhaps mounting an argument for free passage, since... well, you know. I imagine that the millions to die on May 21 will include me, for driving straight through the E-ZPass lane, for failure to stop and consider my life. I imagine that "Camping" is a great name for this Project Caravan. I imagine Freeport was included because people seeking bargains are particularly suggestible. I imagine that the poor bastards in Japan, for whom May 21 will be May 22, have no chance of being enraptured (as if they didn't have enough problems). I imagine that painting the number 2012 on each RV in a red circle with a red line through it is a Christian idea of humor. I imagine God laughing. Isn't imagination grand?