Sunday, February 2, 2014

Hog Bowl

For the first time ever, in a coincidence of inanities, Groundhog Day shares its glories with the Super Bowl. This is appropriate. Watching football is like watching the movie Groundhog Day - the action spins out in jerks and starts, the plays appear to be all the same, and the players in their anonymous blobbiness look rather like groundhogs, at least to me. It's just too bad that the morning's silliness doesn't spill over into the evening.
It's so damn serious! I think the coaches should wear morning coats and top hats and call out plays in a Pennsylvania accent. Bill Murray should play quarterback. The football could be an actual groundhog. And the commercials? Run static shots of snow shovels and scarves and the Weather Channel and donate the $4 million per slot to the Society for the Prevention of the Cruel Humiliation of Professional Football Announcers.

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